As I may have mentioned before I am a big fan of Corbin's Bend, which is why I pestered them into letting me join the gang. I loved the first six books and am currently getting stuck into Kathryn R Blake's A Simple Misunderstanding. So far, it looks like we're going to be seven for seven.
Check out the book excerpt below and Kathryn's great guest blog post on why DD and BDSM should not be considered abuse.
Though Arthur and Eleanor
Benson have been practicing domestic discipline for three months since their
wedding, he insists moving to Corbin's Bend, where domestic discipline is the
norm rather than the exception, will revitalize their marriage. Elly has doubts, but since Arthur is the
undisputed head of their household, they move.
However, once Arthur becomes immersed in a community where spanking is
not only permitted, but encouraged, his personality undergoes a dramatic
change. Accusing his submissive wife of
being lazy, disorganized and disobedient, he employs creative methods of pain
and humiliation to mold Elly from the imperfect woman he married into the
perfect woman he desires. And Elly finds
herself a virtual prisoner in her own home, accountable only to the man who
rules her life with a cane.
In his years as a vet,
Jerry Douglas has seen what abuse does to animals, and he recognizes those same
signs in Elly Benson during her daily escape with her tiny poodle to the dog
park. Jerry steadfastly supports the
tenets of domestic discipline and enjoys the freedom Corbin's Bend offers its
residents, but he remains fiercely protective of anyone in need of a
champion. And when he witnesses evidence
of harsh handling, his instinct is to rush in and rescue. Problem is Elly Benson is a married and
consenting adult who insists all her bruises and welts are nothing more than a
simple misunderstanding between her and her husband, until the day Arthur
Benson takes his authority and discipline one-step too far, endangering Elly's
life.
"Is
dinner ready?" he inquired, opening the armoire where they kept their
coats. Though they'd selected one of the
most expensive units in Corbin's Bend, the place didn't have many closets or
cupboards, so they made do with new furniture they'd purchased to serve their
needs. They still hadn't gotten around
to buying the china cabinet Elly needed to store their fine dishes and delicate
figurines she'd collected over the years.
"Yes,
it's waiting to be served. Would you
like me to place everything on the table now, or would you prefer to relax with
your drink first?"
He
frowned at her. Now what had she done? Then, he pulled a large leather jacket out
of the closet. Jerry's jacket.
"To
whom does this belong, Eleanor?"
She
took a deep breath. She'd done nothing
wrong. "It's Dr. Douglas's
jacket." His left eyebrow arched, which meant she'd provided him with
insufficient information. "He's the
veterinarian I spoke about earlier."
"I
see. And what, pray tell, is his jacket
doing in our hall closet?"
She
drew her lower lip in her mouth and skimmed her teeth over it. Arthur preferred exactness to vagueness,
however, informing him their armoire could hardly be considered a closet would
not be good for her health, so she focused instead on how to present her
afternoon conversation with the vet without drawing attention to her own error
in judgment.
"He
believed my sweater wasn't keeping me warm enough, so he lent me his
jacket."
Arthur
ran his fingers over the material and examined the lining. "Why weren't you wearing your
coat?"
"Muffin
needed to go out, and I thought I'd be fine in a sweater and slacks."
With
a nod, he hung the jacket back in the armoire.
"It would appear you misjudged—again. Colorado falls can be bitterly cold, Eleanor,
and you need to dress appropriately."
Closing the door, he turned to regard her through wintry gray eyes. "Must I start laying out your clothing
as well in the mornings?"
Not
wanting him to see her growing resentment, Elly lowered her gaze. "No, sir."
"You're
my wife, Eleanor. Every decision you
make reflects back on me, and I will not have you prancing about the neighborhood
improperly dressed."
She
met his gaze only briefly, then returned her focus to the floor. "I'm sorry, Arthur."
"So,
you say, but I believe you need another lesson.
I think wearing an anal plug and a diaper through dinner might serve to
remind you your actions have consequences."
Why DD and BDSM should not be considered abuse.
According to A Domestic Discipline Society (ADDS),
Domestic Discipline is defined as "the consensual practice of a subtle
Dominant and submissive type of lifestyle, with the emphasis on the
relationship first. Only then, (after the dynamics of the relationship are
established) should spanking as a disciplinary action or any type of punitive
ideas be discussed." This means in
domestic discipline, the intent behind any punishments should be to correct
undesirable behavior, not cause injury.
However, even if there is a desire to hurt or cause pain, the motive is
not to do harm.
So, what is the difference between hurt and harm? And when should the desire to hurt another be
considered acceptable? For me, the
difference lies in intent. The reasons
and goals behind the participants' interaction.
The desire to hurt another to the point of injury
can border on harmful abuse, even if consent exists. However, the concept of pain is
relative. What I consider hurtful or
injurious may be a mere pleasure tickle for someone else. So, if the participants' goal is to achieve
pleasure through pain, the marks and bruising that remain as remnants of their
activities are often displayed with pride as proof of submission. Neither party views their interactions as
abuse, since both parties gain a measure of satisfaction from their sessions,
even if a casual observer might be horrified to witness the scene. Therefore, the desire to leave welts or
bruises exists behind a fine line that usually takes the participants beyond
the realm of domestic discipline into BDSM.
BDSM is a practice or lifestyle based on the precept of achieving sexual
and emotional gratification through the application of pain in a dominant and
submissive relationship. Its focus is on
gratification.
That's not to say all individuals who spank for
pleasure are practicing BDSM. Some simply
enjoy the pleasure involved in spanking, but prefer not to venture beyond into
BDSM practices. BDSM, on the other hand,
allows individuals of similar interests and desires to give vent to their
predilection through mutually satisfying means.
By its definition, BDSM is not abuse.
Abusive spouses wish to inspire fear in their partner, not sexual
fulfillment. Domestic Discipline
participants, on the other hand, desire to establish a paradigm of mutual
respect and accountability through a communicated set of rules that both are
expected to follow. The intent of a
Domestic Discipline relationship is to establish or maintain respect through
the administration of more traditional values.
In my Corbin's Bend novel, A Simple Misunderstanding,
Pendergast, a surgeon at Denver Memorial Hospital, asks the heroine, Elly
Benson, who is a victim of abuse, about the welts and bruises he's observed on
her backside.
"Legally,
I must ask. Did your husband cause your
injuries?"
Elly swallowed and glanced at Jerry. "Would you explain Corbin's Bend to
him?"
Jerry wanted to
object, since he suspected the activities of Corbin's Bend had little to do
with the punishment Arthur had inflicted on his wife, but Elly gave him such a
plaintive look, he relented.
Careful to use
non-judgmental words, he explained how Corbin's Bend was a community that
catered to individuals who had an interest in domestic discipline. When Pendergast blinked, Jerry added,
"Couples who practice DD often employ corporal punishment, which can
include spanking, caning and whipping, but it is not considered abuse."
"What is
it, if not abuse?" the doctor asked, clearly unfamiliar with the concept.
"A way to
preserve marital harmony through spousal discipline."
Jerry's answer is simplistic, but to the
point. The goal of Domestic Discipline
is to preserve harmony, not cause injury.
Both partners have agreed in advance to follow the rules and guidelines
they've established with the goal of strengthening their relationship. And to my mind, that shouldn't be considered
abuse.
Kathryn R. Blake
Has her fourth novel with
Blushing Books, "A Simple Misunderstanding" released. Part of the Corbin's Bend series, this book
is her third spanking romance where domestic discipline is primary to the
plot. Although Kathryn is relatively new
to the spanking romance market, she is not new to stories where the hero
paddles the heroine. In fact, most of
her novels have some sort of spanking in them.
However, even though Kathryn's heroes firmly believe in using corporal
discipline as a deterrent, they have no desire to cause the heroine
injury. Even if they find it difficult
to carry out a given threat or promise, they never shirk their duty.
Professionally, Kathryn has
been a member of RWA since the early 1980s and has joined several local and
special interest chapters such as OVRWA, COFW, MARA, FF&P, ESPAN and
HHRW. All of which have been
instrumental in helping Kathryn's career.
Though feverishly plotting
out her seventh book, which involves domestic discipline as well, Kathryn loves
to hear from readers. If you wish to
learn more about Kathryn, or her books, you can see watch she's up to at any of
the following locations:
Great post clearly defining the difference between DD and BDSM.
ReplyDeleteThanks for having me as a guest during the blitz, Etta. I'm pleased to be here.
ReplyDeleteReally great post. I loved how Kathryn handled this issue in A Simple Misunderstanding where abuse was by nature of a spanking community, so much harder to identify.
ReplyDeleteGreat post! A very clear description and explanation :)
ReplyDeleteI agree, it's a question often asked and well answered
ReplyDeletegreat post!!
ReplyDeleteThanks to all who stopped by and commented. I really appreciate the feedback and support.
ReplyDeleteThis post is very informative, thank you.
ReplyDeleteI haven't read this yet, but plan to. It's a touchy subject in some circles.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing! I haven't read this one yet but I do have it on my Kindle.
ReplyDelete