Etta Stark: The Perfect Housewife

Showing posts with label The Perfect Housewife. Show all posts

Sunday, 14 February 2016

Happy Valentine's Day. If you're into that sort of rubbish.

Oh look, it's Valentine's Day again. That pretendy-love fest named after the Patron Saint of beekeeping and epilepsy keeps rolling around every year. I am, apparently, powerless to stop it.

You see those faces in the doorway? NONE of those people were there at the time this picture was taken,
Their images only appeared after this wedding photo was developed. Woooooooooooh.

You all know what a cynical, unromantic curmudgeon I am, right? I will look askance at anyone over the age of fourteen who gives any kind of shit about Valentine's Day.

And it's not because I don't believe in love. I believe in love! I have met actual, real people who are in love in with their life partners. Hell, I'm even related to some of them.

I just think that Valentine's Day is literally the worst day of the year to express that love. A bunch of flowers given on a random Thursday is a million times more romantic than one given on the 14th of February. (And I am saying this as someone who would love to be given a bunch of flowers occasionally. Even on Valentine's Day. Honestly, I'm not picky.)

But what do I know of love? Absolutely nothing.

So for insightful observations on the nature of true love, I would like to direct your attention once again to the always amazing Australian songwriter, Tim Minchin.

Because, you know, you can be happily married to a woman you met in your teens and still recognise that "It's just mathematically unlikely that at a university in Perth / I happened to stumble on the one girl on Earth specifically designed for me".

And, maybe it's just me, but if someone ever told me "I don't think you're special / I mean, I think you're special / But you fall within a bell curve", I'd respect them a hell of a lot. Because I do like a man with a good understanding of mathematical probability.

There's a longer version of this song. Worth mentioning because this version contains the lines

You're lovely but there must be girls as lovely as you
And maybe more open to spanking or table tennis
I'm just saying

And you know, I can never un-hear a spanking reference. Especially when it's being said by Tim Minchin. Shame he's so very obviously in love with his wife. (And if you listen all the way to the end of that longer clip, you'll appreciate that Mrs Minchin sounds every kind of awesome.)

Unfortunately, come to think of it, my table tennis skills are terrible. Bang goes my chances of a threesome.

Well, this went slightly off-topic.

Enjoy your Valentine's Days, everyone! Whatever you're doing. Having candlelit dinners, swapping clichéd gifts, making heart-shaped food items, imagining threeways with Tim Minchin and his wife. Whatever. I'm not going to judge you.

I feel obliged at this point to mention the VALENTINES Corbin Bend collection of VALENTINES stories of VALENTINE-ness. Buy them all now! Or at least, my one.

Valentine's Surprise: A Corbin's Bend Valentine's Day Novella (Love in the Rockies Book 1) - Constance Masters

Roy & Teri's Accidental Staycation: A Corbin's Bend Valentine's Day Novella (Love in the Rockies Book 2) - Kate Richards

Past Interference: A Corbin's Bend Valentine's Day Novella (Love in the Rockies Book 3) - Kathryn Blake

The Perfect Housewife: A Corbin's Bend Valentine's Day Novella (Love in the Rockies Book 4) - Etta Stark

Unexpected Surprises: A Corbin's Bend Valentine's Day Novella (Love in the Rockies Book 5) - Ruth Staunton

Knowing What She Needs: A Corbin's Bend Valentine's Day Novella (Love in the Rockies Book 6) - Thianna D

Saturday, 13 February 2016

Saturday Spankings - "She felt poised halfway between happiness and hurt"

Saturday Spankings! Valentine's Day Flavour!

Hey, Saturday Spankers! You know what tomorrow is? 14th February 2016! Which according to the crazy lady in Ghostbusters 2 is the date of the END OF THE WORLD.

Oh, and it's also Valentine's Day. If you're into that sort of thing.

"So your alien had a room at the Holiday Inn, Paramus?"
"It might have been a room on the spacecraft made up to look like a room in the Holiday Inn. I can't be sure about that, Peter."

Corbin's Bend Valentine's Day Love In The Rockies collection is on sale now! For all your Spanky Community Valentine's Day needs. Including my book, The Perfect Housewife.

Go on! Treat yourself.

In the snippet below, Kirsty is being spanked by her boyfriend, Logan. In a moment of improvisation, Logan has decided to spank Kirsty with a skipping rope.

Kirsty buried her face in the bedcover and waited for the first blow to connect. The plastic cord whipped across her bare bottom leaving a line of fire in its wake. Logan brought the rope down half a dozen more times. Each time, Kirsty gasped as it made stinging contact with her flesh. The pain was so different from that of being spanked by his hand. She honestly couldn’t tell if she liked it or not. She felt poised halfway between happiness and hurt. It felt like it could go either way.

Go on, enjoy Valentine's Day in the company of the world's best spanking community. But be quick, according to those aliens in Holiday Inn, Paramus, you may not have much time left.

But before we all inevitably meet our respective dooms, remember to check out the rest of the Saturday Spankers.

Saturday, 6 February 2016

New Release! The Perfect Housewife

Good news, everyone! Last year's Corbin's Bend Valentine-fest Love In The Rockies are being released this month as stand-alone books.

This means that my contribution, The Perfect Housewife is now available for sale!

Buy it now!
Unless you already purchased the full Love In The Rockies collection.
n which case, definitely don't. Because it's exactly the same.

The Perfect Housewife continues Logan and Kirsty's story after we left them in East End Girl. Our heroes are still together and still trying to make their Domestic Discipline lifestyle work. Something that doesn't always come naturally to feisty, independent Kirsty.

In the snippet below, Logan has admitted that he has screwed up and hurt Kirsty's feelings. Although he has apologised, Kirsty wonders if there should be further consequences.

“So what happens now?” she asked.

“How do you mean?”

“Well you admitted that you did wrong in leaping to the conclusion that you did, you’ve said sorry and that you won’t do it again.”

“Is that not enough?”

“Well, it isn’t when I have done something wrong. I get a punishment spanking as well.”Logan pulled back from the hug so that they were at arm’s length from one another and looked at her questioningly. “You want to spank me?”

Kirsty frowned. The idea wasn’t appealing at all. “Maybe not,” she conceded. “But it is a bit unfair, isn’t it? There’s two people in this relationship and yet if I do something wrong, I get my backside warmed like an errant child and if you do something wrong, you just get to apologize and move on. I feel like I’m setting back Women’s Rights sixty years sometimes. Aren’t we supposed to be equal partners?”

Logan ran his finger down the side of her face and kissed her softly on her cheek. “I guess it’s something we will just need to keep working on and discussing. We’re still figuring all of this out. I don’t want you to think that I get to discipline you just because I’m a man and you are my woman. I tell you what though. You don’t get to spank me. Not ever. That’s not how this thing works. If you think the rules of spanking are unfair, then we will have to even it up the other way.”

“The other way?”

“Yes. I stop giving you spankings.” Kirsty gave an involuntarily squeak of protest.

Logan smiled. “I’m guessing that you don’t like that idea much?”

“No, not at all. You know that. I mean I always knew that I liked being spanked but I really had no idea quite how much until I met you. Nothing ever feels as right as it does when you have me bent over for a spanking.”

“I know. It feels pretty right to me too. That’s why I give the spankings and you get spanked. It’s nothing to do with my imposing my will over you because you’re female. We’re just wired this way. And much as I enjoy the sexy spankings, I think the Domestic Discipline side of things is an important part of it too. We take our kink and use it to make our relationship stronger.”

Kirsty furrowed her brow. “Hmm. You make a convincing case there, mister. Still not convinced you should be allowed to screw up and get away with it scot free though. Tell you what, maybe next time I do something wrong, I should be granted amnesty on my punishment. Like a free pass.”

Logan chuckled. “Not a chance, sweetie. You screw up and you’re going straight over my knee, having your backside swatted until it’s bright red and hot enough to fry eggs on.”