TP Dungeon - So long and thanks for all the spanks

At the end of this month, TP Dungeon in Staffordshire will be closing its (anonymous-looking) doors for the last time. This is a sad time for me and Gentleman Friend as we have spent many happy hours there in the eighteen months since we discovered it.

I could say that TP Dungeon is the best BDSM play space that I have ever been to but that's because it's the only one of its type that I've been to.

House rules always adhered to

I've been to clubs a few times where a pub rents out its space to a BDSM group for a night who ship in all manner of lovely equipment in for a night and charge a (usually nominal) entrance fee. Sometimes they even include a buffet. But TP was the first time, I'd hired out a space for my Dom's and my exclusive use. It turns out that I much prefer doing it that way. Having other people there didn't really do anything for me. I'm not into to whole exhibitionism/voyeur thing and I really don't like having to wait my turn for the spanking bench.

TP was a lovely space with a full compliment of kinky furniture - cages, stocks, rope scaffold, sex swing, St Andrews Cross and, of course, a spanking bench. Not to mention sofas and a kitchenette which is essential as tea-drinking plays a very important role in my aftercare. Bookable slots were for four hours and the place had a lovely, non-seedy vibe. We enjoyed the first time so much that we repeated the experience. A lot.

Never underestimate the importance of tea. In everything.

The spanking bench (or 'Benchy' as I affectionately call it) was by far and away my favourite thing there. On one of our repeat visits, I flung myself fully-clothed over the bench as soon as we arrived, hugged it and declared "Hello, old friend!"


I would say that some of the happiest times of my life were spent over that bench, but, you know, I'm not always happy at the time. Sometimes I'm actually very cross.  It's a strange sort of cognitive dissonance. My brain can react to spanking with "Ow, you bastard, that really hurt!" as though this wasn't something that I'd asked for and discussed in lengthy and excitable detail beforehand.

I do love it really of course and that particular bench holds many fond memories for me. All those memories involve being strapped down by Gentleman Friend and being repeatedly hit on the bottom with a variety of implements so they do rather merge together.

Benchy - a dear friend

And now me and Benchy will never see one another again. I have to move on with my life and start seeing other BDSM equipment. It's all part of being a grown-up, I suppose.

It's actually a bit exciting. I have enjoyed researching new dungeons although for the most part they are a lot more expensive than TP Dungeon which was insanely reasonably priced. (Yes, 'insane reasonableness' is a thing.)

I've already, due to the prices, rejected a lot of London dungeons. (BDSM dungeons that is, not The London Dungeon which is a totally different thing altogether.) You need to head to the sticks if you want to get more for your BDSM buck.

Happily there are quite a few places to choose from. The Secret Dungeon in Buckinghamshire has a hot tub. The Fetish Studio in Berkshire has its own garden with a whipping post and stocks! It's all out there

Gentleman Friend is terribly keen to try out the new places we've found. I suppose it will be nice for him to swing his arm in a new environment. He did, though, refuse to consider my entirely reasonable suggestion that he set up his own Dungeon-For-Hire.

He's retired! He has the time! Possibly. It's probably quite a lucrative little business and, honestly, I'm not just trying to persuade him because I would plan to spend every single minute that wasn't hired out to someone else, making full use of the spank stuff. OK, maybe a little bit.

I am keen to hear any private dungeon recommendations from fellow spankos. We'll probably be sticking to the UK for now but, who knows,  maybe if I spot a spanking bench I really like the look of, we could fly off to New York or Amsterdam or Guayaquil to meet it.

TP endorsed by fictional swingers, Jacqueline and Donald from TV series 'Benidorm' so beat that.

If you're reading this Benchy, I'm sorry if that seems a bit heartless but, you know, a girl's got to move on with her life.

Book Review - The Lies of Lord John by Fiona Munroe

Only marriage to a lady of fortune can save him

Four Stars

I do love a historical heroine with modern sensibilities and Margaret Bell the heroine of The Lies of Lord John is a wonderful example of just that.

Accustomed to a rather negligent upbringing from an indulgent uncle, she has always enjoyed far more freedom than a gentlewoman in nineteenth century Scotland is usually afforded, allowing her to attend literary soirees, indulge her love of poetry and even make plans to start a literary magazine.

She almost meets Keats at one point. I'm not sure he's much of a spanker.

When her circumstances change, Margaret’s freedoms are suddenly curtailed and faced with a markedly more restrictive future, Margaret rebels. Hard. As is of course only right and proper for a feisty young protagonist ahead of her time when it comes to the rights of women.

In this case, Margaret rebels right into the arms of Lord John Dunwoodie, which, on the face of it, is an incredibly reckless move. As cads go, Lord John is one of the caddiest – fleeing countries in disgrace, deflowering servant girls and generally being a worry and a disappointment to his high-ranking family.

‘The Lies of Lord John’ is a very well written and tightly plotted story with a host of well-drawn supporting characters. Best among them are Margaret’s fallen-from-grace best friend Emmeline, her seemingly docile cousin, Charity and John’s steely sister-in-law, Arabella.

And there's lots of genuinely interesting stuff about 19th century planning development in Edinburgh

Be warned though, if it’s erotic sex ‘n’ spanks you’re after  (and if you’re reading a book published by Blushing Books then it’s quite likely that you are) then you are going to have to be patient with this book. The hero and heroine don’t even get together until about halfway through the book. There’s no sex and no real romance until you’ve got three quarters of the way through it.

The first spanking in the book (and the one descried in greatest detail) is delivered not by an a sexy authoritative dom-type but by Margaret’s cruel aunt and is therefore not much fun. (Although happily, Lord John does administer some of his own discipline later on in the story.)

So if you’re looking for non-stop erotic spanky action then this possibly isn’t the book for you. But I guess if you’ve already the other books in the Bonnie Brides series (which I haven’t) you already know what to expect.

If you’re after a well-written story with a strong sense of historical accuracy and a satisfying denouement, then there is a lot to enjoy in Fiona Munroe’s novel.

Want to know more about the book review star rating system? Or find out what other books I've reviewed? Check out this page here.